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By Randy Alcorn

"This book has been recommended to me by more people than any other book. An incredible story." - Steve H.

"Is this the day I die?" wonders Li Quan as he endures persecution for his faith. Half a world away his college buddy, businessman Ben Fielding, steps on the plane to China. Reunited after 20 years, both men face decisions that will determine their destinies---and the fates of their nations and the world. 400 pages, softcover from Tyndale.

home > Marriage and Divorce

CAN WE SEPARATE?

What does the bible say about seperating?

Me and my wife are not getting a divorce,just living in different homes. I've tried to make it work, but she keep doing things that I prefer her not to do. She lies to me constantly, causing me to act in a way that is not me. She keeps everything a secret from (case and point she lost her job and I didn't know about until three weeks later.) I can't trust her. I can't depend on her. I try to tell her something for her benefit, but she won't listen. I'm at the end of my rope. Need help soon because I feel like I can't get a prayer threw.

Hello:

I'll be praying for you, your wife and your marriage.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I can not be of much direct help. It's just not possible to obtain enough information, from both sides, so as to be able to understand the situation from just emailed correspondence. I strongly suggest speaking with your pastor or a good Christian marriage counselor.

We can talk a little bit about what the Bible says:

In America today the word "marriage" has two meanings. There is the civil meaning, which is described by the laws of our country, state and city. Under those laws there is marriage, and there can be separation.

There is also the Biblical meaning of "marriage" - one man, one woman, for life. Thus, Biblically, there is no such thing as separation.

(Important Note: If there is physical violence or abuse, you need to get out and get help. Don't stay in a relationship in which there is abuse.)

Biblically, separation describes how two married people are relating to each other, or maybe I should say--not relating to each other. It is describing behavior within a marriage. So the question becomes, is this behavior Biblical behavior? Is this how the Bible says married people should act?

1 Corinthians chapter 7 describes how a husband should treat his wife, and how a wife should treat her husband. I'd like to suggest reading this chapter, with the guidance of a good Christian marriage counselor. Keep in mind that it is your obligation to focus on treating your wife Biblically, not on how she is treating you.

In this specific case I strongly recommend getting a qualified third person involved. I'm sorry, but we do not have the resources to make referrals. If you do not know of anyone locally who can help you, I suggest contacting Focus on the Family--there is a phone number on their web site. They may be able to refer you to someone locally who can help:

http://www.family.org/

Yours in the Love of Christ,
Steve
Mission to America