What Is Love?

The word "love" is used a lot in the Bible. The word "love" is also used a lot in our culture. But they are not the same word.

In our culture the word "love" means to feel affection for another person. To really like another person. Does the Bible command us to feel affection for others? Does it say we must like all other people? No. That's not in the Bible. What the Bible says is that we must love other people, even our enemies.

Confused?

The problem is that the English language does not have a word that accurately expresses what the Bible is saying. The closest word available is "love" but it's not very close. The ancient Greeks (the language of the New Testament) recognized the differences and they had three words that are translated into our one word... "love". One of those, agape, is talking abouit how we treat other people, not how we feel about them. When you agape (love) someone else that means you treat them in a loving manner. You may not like them, but you still treat them with loving actions.

What is a loving action? Does loving someone mean you always give them what they want? No, it does not. It means doing what is best for them.

If your children want to play in a busy street, is it loving to let them do so? No!! The loving thing is to get them out of the street no matter how much they object. That is love... caring about the welfare of the other person.

What if the other person wants to do something morally wrong? What if they are a habitual liar or shoplifter? Do you tell them it's okay, and if that's what they want to do they can continue to do those things? No! That's not loving. That's enabling them.

Loving someone does not mean we always make them feel good. By loving someone we might make then very unhappy. Our children might really enjoy playing in the street and our loving action of getting them out of the street makes them very unhappy... but it also saves their lives. Agape loving someone has nothing to do with happiness or feeling good. It has to do with truly caring about the welfare of that person.

What if we did something to protect our children when we found them playing in a busy street... We could run into the street and put orange cones around our children, and erect a sign that says "Children At Play." Instead of asking them to change their behavior, and possibly making them feel sad, we try to protect them and keep them happy. Is that the right response? No!

The correct, loving response is to get them out of the street and teach them that they need to change their behavior.

That's also the correct, loving response to someone breaking the law... whether it is civil law or God's law. Enabling them to feel good about themselves while they break the law, or enabling them to continuing breaking the law is not loving them.